20161018

So many things I would like to update on, so little time to blog!

1. After work, usually have a snack or light dinner before I get on the bus, come home, take a shower, waste some time on the internet, and go to bed. I do not exercise, I do not watch what I eat. I eat some form of dinner every day. This is bad. I look super fat in photos now. I feel heavier. My belly fat is getting thicker by the day. #DIETFAILLLLL

2. My boss has been having a fever since last week and still hasn't recovered. She took Friday off (but worked from home, so it wasn't really a day 'off'), and went to the hospital in the morning today to get an IV drip and to ask for a stronger prescription. Her 70-year-old mother is sick with pneumonia. She is worried and sick and so fucking busy and has no time to take care of her elderly, ailing mother, whom she still lives with. Is that what my life is going to look like in 15 years? God forbid...

3. Man, people can really sniff out money. It's like an instinct. 이렇게 또 하나의 인연을 끊는구나.....

4. 병따개 katalked me at lunchtime. WTF? Felt like saying "WTF do you want?" but also that that would probably only invite unpleasantaries, so stopped myself. Dude, 용건 없으면 그냥 연락하지 말라고오오오오오ㅗㅗㅗㅗ

5. 이대............................. 하아................................... 최경희총장.......남궁곤 입학처장........... 여름부터 맨날맨날 뉴스에 나오는구나..... 쪽팔려 죽겠다 쉬발라마 여태껏 사임 안하고 뭐하냐??? 철면피도 유분수지.....

6. 계약직은 역시 파리목숨, expendable 일 뿐이라는 걸 실감하게 되는 일이 생겼다. 순간적으로 '시발 그럼 난 계약연장 하려면 뭘 어째야 되는거야?!???'라는 위기감이 들었으나 딱히 뭘 달리 해야 할지는 모르겠다. S와 C가 왜 그렇게 쎄하게 굴었는지, O와 W 사이에는 왜 그렇게 엄청난 긴장감이 있었는지 알게 되었고, W가 퇴사하기 전까지는 나도 영 입장이 거시기 하다. W와 친하게 지내는 걸 다른 직원들에게 보이기도 싫고, 내가 살아남기 위해 W를 엿먹인 직원들과 친하게 보이는 걸 W에게 들키는 것도 싫다. 그리고 그런 내막을 다 듣고서도 친해지고 싶은 마음도 딱히 없는 사람들과 억지로 억지로 바득바득 우겨서 친하게 지내야만 한다는 것도 싫다. 난 정말 소처럼 일만 하다 6시 땡 하면 용수철처럼 의자에서 튀어올라 퇴근하고 싶다. 일은 정말 좋고 I really couldn't have asked for something better, 부장님도 나를 너무 좋게 봐 주셔서 정말 감사하고 (집에 갈 생각이 없으신 것만 빼면 정말 완벽한 상사에 가깝다)... 이곳에서 일하는 데에 부수적으로 들러붙는 잡다한 '사회생활'이라는 군더더기가 참 부담스럽고 싫다.

7. 운동을 해야한다...... 이렇게 살만 찌다가는 병들고 늙기만 할텐데.......... 운동과 다이어트를....... 먹을 돈을 아껴 헬스장을 등록하자........................

PWR BTTM !!!!!

How the heck is this weird gay band representing my thoughts and feelings so accurately?!????

All I want to eat is carbs
https://youtu.be/ir8JPJbNjV0

I want a boy to keep yhe bed warm when I shower
https://youtu.be/t7v7OhkBFTg

사실은 오늘 너와의 만남을 정리하고 싶어

휴우.. 너 또 꿈에 나왔어.....

너랑 나랑 

쇼부를 보자

우리는 도대체 무슨 사이인지

다시 만날 날을 기다리기만 해야 하는건지

너와 잘 될지도 모른다는 희망 따위는 

한점도 남김없이 깨끗하게 씻어 버리고

다른 사람 마음껏 좋아하는 게 맞는 건지

괜찮은 사람이 나타났는데 

너 때문에 마음 찜찜해서 그 사람 마음놓고 pursue 하지 못하거나

pursue하면서 마음 켕기는 건, 좀 아니잖아!

/ 만약에 그가 목장지기가 된다면, 나에게는 차라리 잘된 것 아닌가?!

근데 뭐 사실.. 그에게 기대기엔 그는 너무 바쁘고.. 당장 take care of 해야 할 상처도 크고..

우린 너무 다르고... 

(아 ㅅㅂ 말실수했어 걔 차가 미니쿠퍼인데 "미니쿠퍼는 돈 많은 애들이 갖고 노는 비싼 장난감"이라는 말을 해버렸... 으앍악악악)

내가 그에게 무슨 위안이 될 수 있을까, 그를 따라가기에도 가랑이 찢어지게 생겼는데..

아 모르겠다 모르겠어.

그리고 무엇보다 지금 난.. I want someone to take care of me and be there when I 징징거려 and 내가 기대고 의지할 수 있는 사람을 원해... 

그가 나에게 그런 사람이 되어줄 수 있을까? 

누가 나에게 그런 사람이 되어주고 싶을까???

/ 아무튼 만약에 여름을 한국에서 보내게 된다면 S와 쇼부를 보던지 여름내내 씨름을 하던지 뭐 그럴 수도 있을 것 같은데

만약에 미국에 있게 된다면??? 그리고 여름동안에도 남자를 만나지 못한다면??? (미국에 있는다면 그럴 가능성 아주 큼. 한국에 가더라도 그럴 가능성이 작지 않긴 하다만-_-)

내나이 스물여덟, 만으로 스물여섯인데 

20대가 가기 전에 '연애가 뭔가요 먹는건가요' 수준은 벗어나야 할 거 아니야-_-

처음 사귄 사람하고 결혼하기에는 (as romantic as that sounds) 왠지 자존심 상하는 무언가가 있....

/ 에효 일단은 살을 빼는 게 우선...

(그럴 일은 절대로 없겠지만) 누가 나 좋다고 달려들어도 

내가 나 자신이 매력적이라고 생각하지 않기 때문에... 

살을 빼고 화장도 좀 하고 옷도 선머슴같이 입지 말고...

내 자신에 대해 좀 자신감을 up 시켜야 누구를 만나던지 말던지 할 수 있을 것 같다.

(허나 오늘도 야식은 계속된다ㅠㅠㅠㅠ)

feel like crap today

i feel like crap

몸컨디션도 갑자기 안좋고

모의고사성적도 개떡같고

(시험치는내내 집중도 너무 안됐어)

스트레스받아서 계속 초콜렛만 먹고

계속 늦게자고

운동은 안하고

월요일에 발표있는데 아직 준비 하나도 안했고

나라도 뒤숭숭하고 (what the heck is going on in the sea?!?!)

날씨는 엄청 좋은데 아직 추워서

사놓은 봄옷들 옷장속에서 썩고있는거 완전 속상하고

싸이 들어오면 항상

소개팅 클럽이나 웨딩 준비 클럽 가입하라고 쪽지 와있고

아 진짜 오늘 기분 완전 구려 ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ

and also because ... i feel like i don't know you anymore.

Because I feel like I don't know how to have a good time together with you.

Because the you I thought I knew and the me you thought you knew don't match any more.

Because I let you feel bad, worrying that I might not be having a good time.

Which in turn made me feel obliged to stop pretending like I share your way of having fun.

(I've always wanted to learn to play the guitar/bass, but somehow it never made it to my list of priorities.. 학교코앞에 실용음악학원 있는걸 발견하고서는 I got so worked up and 진짜 마지막으로 decided I would definitely get vocal training when I am done with law school applications. 기타+베이스+드럼도 진짜진짜 배우고 싶은데, 한꺼번에 다는 못할꺼고ㅠㅠ 아 미디작곡도 완전 땡겨ㅠㅠㅠㅠ)

솔직히 I know the cause of all this is jealousy. Your life evolves around your girlfriend whereas I don't even have a story about so much as a crush to tell you about... Isn't life so unfair.

But because I wasn't consumed in relationships I got to study more. Meet more people. See the bigger world that is 'out there'.

그리고 나는 너보다 더 폼나게 살거니까.

쳇쳇쳇

need to go on a diet

sure, it's a perpetual resolution that i always fail to follow through.. but most of the time I'm not even serious about resolving in my own mind to watch what and how much i eat.

This must have happened every year in winter without my noticing it, but this time i've noticed.

I've started to develop a huge appetite since winter vacation started. With only a wee bit of exaggeration, I feel like my stomach can digest an extremely filling meal (and I mean extremely filling as in I feel like my stomach could burst and I'm filled up to my neck with food) in five minutes. Ten minutes tops. I find myself wanting to eat a plate of baked potatoes/호떡/another bowl of rice/something else that is very filling and equivalent to another meal AS I AM WALKING OUT OF A RESTAURANT and on my way to the bus stop/subway station.

This phenomenon is starting to scare me. I knew I always ate a LOT for someone my size but it's never reached a point where my appetite has started to terrify me.

Thus the conclusion: if my body won't naturally reduce its bursts of desire for more calories, then i will have to forcefully restrain myself from eating (too much, or the equivalent of two consecutive meals). This is not going to be easy because normally I am very generous in giving my body what it wants.

So help me God.

goodbye 2009

less than 40 minutes of 2009 left.
이 극도의 불안하고 허전한 마음은 뭐지...

올해는 무슨일이 있었나, recap~

JANUARY
5th: 용산경찰서 면접 포기, 경찰청 면접
6th: 문화관광부 저작권정책과 면접
7th: 2pm 외교부 개발정책과 인턴 합격 통지, 3pm 경찰청 외사과 합격 통지
8th: declined internship position at 경찰청
9th: visited MOFAT 개발정책과 for the first time to submit some papers
12~18th: "detox camp" (or... 'testing my endurance')
19th: 1st day of work. (첫날부터 90분이나 초과근무@_@)
20: 2nd day of work (김 서기관남과 KOICA 세미나 참석)
23: first 월급날!
24: permed by hair for the first time in....20 years?
29,30: training @ IFANS.
29: 뮤지컬 '미녀는 괴로워'

FEBRUARY
2: lunch with 김 서기관님
3: lunch with 과장님
5: 루벤스&바로전 @ 세종문화회관, by myself during lunchtime
6: 1st 다자외교포럼 (방글라데시 선거 감독)
9: lunch with 지 서기관님 + 김sb 서기관님 송별회 (=첫 회식!)
10: beginning of weekly lunch with 승희언니
12: beginning of random lunches with 혜인
15: dinner with S and her parents
18: lunch with Jju unni!
19: Romeo et Juliette! (H had to leave during the intermission...)
21: granpa's bd party
22: 졸업예배, met Ejae
23: Graduation convocation
24: Dinner with Lin's family!
28: "Rent" w. Kyu

MARCH
2: lunch with the Foreign Minister! (and 과장님, and all the other interns - and they gave us sandwiches! ugh! unforgivabe!)
3: 다자외교포럼 - UNICEF
7: work on saturday! + 덕수궁 미술관 "한국근대미술걸작전"
8: The Great Debaters (movie)
9: 한영 ODA 정책협의회
10: 한영 ODA 컨퍼런스
15: dinner w. hoobaes who taught at Wenzao
16: ran into "the friendly guy I met at LSAT" in front of SFC!
17: lunch with 정 서기관님 @ Aloi, which was not very aloi
18: lunch with 유진언니, 민수, 상우 @ "the place"
19: lunch with 민성! & dinner w. 성언니
20: 인턴 교육 @ IFANS
21: met Sharon! went to Seoul Tower
24: bought 장기하와 얼굴들 cd
25: lunch w 한+정 서기관님 & Mr.Ko
26: lunch w Mr.Ko, Mr.Park, and Ms.Lee/ dinner with Ahyoung and TJ!
27: visited PJ at the hospital
28~29: KNC @ 경희대 수원캠퍼스
31: lunch with Moony, EYF 수료식, DAC WP/EFF 회의 @ Paris

APRIL
1: lunch w. 김 서기관님
2: lunch w. 조 서기관님
4: 전다영 gets married!!! spotted Professor Cha @ Cafe "Ball and Chain"
5: went to 강남 해커스 to check out LSAT course.
6: lunch w. 배 서기관님 & 조 사무관님
7: 인턴 교육@ 서울경찰청. didn't see 조승우 on duty.
8: dinner with Julie and Ahyoung
9: lunch with 민성
10~13: trip to Osaka & Kyoto!!!!!!
15: 다자외교포럼 (WFP)
17: 인턴 교육 @ IFANS. (김기환 심의관님!) + 과 회식 (효자동 다정).
19: watched 똥파리 w dad.
20: 간식 두번 연속으로 먹은 날! dinner with Wendie 언니, 예현, Sookie언니.
21: last lunch with 승희언니
22: lunch with Moony. Dinner at 하나후쿠.
23: lunch with 박 서기관님. and ended up praying (!!!) at the staircase (!!!)
25: Jennie언니 결혼식
26: watched "Banliue 13: Ultimatum" w dad
27: watched 그림자 살인 w 도희.
28: lunch w 혜인 @ 정동국시
30: worked until 1am because of the damned memorandum for OECD!!!

MAY
1: Labor Day = no work! superb weather. wine & cheesecake at the park in front of Sinchon train station with 아영, 영희, 도희.
2: 석가탄신일. watched 3 movies. (don't even remember which ones they were)
5: 어린이날. BFP갔다가 줄 너무 길어서 포기. 포켓볼, 청계천+명동 w fam.
6: 7시넘어 퇴근. dinner with 김&정 서기관님 @ Pho Thai
7: dinner with Ahyoung, Logan, Andy @ Jacoby's. Fell when getting off the bus and got hurt pretty bad (ripped my only dress pants and was bleeding..), but no broken bones,..
8: 어버이날. took mom to get massage.
9: 강마을다람쥐 w mom and kyu.
11: dinner @ Turka & dessert @ BFP Gangnam w 성언니
13: walk in 정동 & dinner @ random 돈까스 place with 아영.
14: 국 체육대회 - missed it, to write SOPs for grad school, but actually watched "박쥐" and had dinner w 아영 @ 명동.
15: went to submit GSIS applications - missed about 3 hours of work (cuz I hung out with 아영)! hehehe
16: dinner w 아영, Logan, 종민 @ Chili chili & Lazy Sue's
19: farewell <여기까지 썼을때 it became 2010! happy new year!>party for Elmo @ shithole
20: lunch w 종민, dinner movie w 성언니 @ 명동
22: 도희 bd party
23-24: KDF workshop @ 휘문중, former president Roh commits suicide
28: 주한외교단 조문객 안내 w. 조지이 서기관님 @ 서울역사박물관 (skipped 인턴 특강)
29: funeral for former president Roh Moohyun
30: Yonsei GSIS essay & interview
30-31: family trip to Sokcho

JUNE
2: video shoot for adjudicator test w. 아영, 도희, 원준, 민재, 강민
10: lunch w. the incompetent twat from UK
12: dinner with Mike, 아영, Logan
13: Ewha GSIS interview
15: Yonsei GSIS results are out
16: Ensemble Ditto Opening Night @ Hoam Art Hall
17: 다자외교포럼 (Mr. Amara Essy), dinner w. 민성
19: 정s서기관님 마지막 출근
20: worked at home (preparing papers for DAC review), Sharon in Seoul again
22: DAC 실사단 hotel pick-up & 회의 녹취록 작성, dinner w MJ, 도희, 아영
23: 하나원 견학
24: lunch w 한 서기관님, 해미언니, 민수. 실사단 escort inside HQ.
25: lunch & 성공회성당 견학 w아영. Stefan recital 예매!
27: the beginning of diet pills. flying pan blue w H, "Transformers 2" w 도희.
28: lunch w 김 서기관님 & 아현 @ 강남역
29: Ewha GSIS results are out, but no news abt scholarship (drove me crazy)
30: dinner w 용수, 아영 @ Chili Chili

JULY
1: Ditto concert @ 성남아트센터
3: dinner w H & 미지언니
7: lunch w 이 서기관님
8: 덕수궁 after lunch w Marino and the twat/ dinner w 아영, 도희, 윤성언니, kelly @ Jacoby's
10: my bd! surprise bd party as gift from 과장님 >_< & dinner w fam @ Congee Go Go
11: went to buy hanbok for JJ w Christy & 아영. pre-ADI dinner @ 성신여대.
13: bd celebration w Moony & H
14: heavy rain!
15: "My Scary Girl" w 도희. Farewell party for Jason @ nowhere else but the Spai Bar!
16: Dinner w Ji unni @ Gangnam
17: Dinnr w 성언니 @ Coex
18: adjudicated @ ADI tournament
19: lunch w. grandma & granpa & Kyu @ 샤브미
23: lunch w. 아영 & Jju unni
24: 신사동 w 성언니
26: 로미오앤 줄리엣 한국어 공연 w mom. (임태경, 김소현 캐스팅)
28: 박, 이 서기관님들과 lunch
29: lunch w Yeajin
30: lunch w 한 서기관님
31: last day at work. lunch w 과 @ Rosso Bianco (ugh had so much trouble picking the place!)

AUGUST
2~4: family trip to 강원도 고성군/속초
5: watched "Up" w grandma. finished reading "The Interpreter" by Suki Kim
6: Tied down with work (학원 아르바이트)!
7: Finished reading "Slam"
8: WUDC auditions/ afternoon w Christy & 아영. dinner w fam.
9: watched 해운대 w fam.
10: went to the dentist. watched G.I. Joe w mom.
11: 휘문중 KDF 설명회, 조 서기관님 환송회. (노래방에서 신나게 불러제꼈더니 과장님 wanted me to come back to workㅋㅋㅋ)
12: GSIS orientation
13: left the house around 11:30am. canceled lunch w. 홍 서기관님. went to 하나후쿠, bookstore, and Trinitea. and then preparatory meeting for debate workshop. but the work didn't start until after dinner, cuz many ppl came late.....-_-+
14-15: debate workshop @ 휘문중
16: first time to translate @ church
17: Lin comes back! Dinner & "Public Enemies" w Lin, 도희, 아영, Logan. thought abt joining trip to Jeonju but too much work - decided not to go.
19: register for courses
20: lunch w 홍 서기관님! Dinner w Lin, Shendy, 도희
23: lunch w 장윤재 교수님 & 김성희 전도사님
25: dentist, hair (bangs!), family pic
27: took photos for H all around school, Ditto concerto w. 도희
28: 하계 졸업식. Daxun Zhang recital w. 아영, Logan, 지은
31: 경복궁 w. Lin & 미지언니

SEPTEMBER
1: first day of grad school
3: went with 도희 to 상문고
5: Tsui Hark's "The Tempest" @ the National Theater
8: brunch w 아영, The Bungalow w 도희 & 종민
10: lunch w YJY
11: GSIS Open House. first meeting w prof Oh et al.
14: EDiS auditions for KNC teams
18: 이자람의 "사천가 2009"
19: Asia Song Festival w. Lin & Shendy
23: first presentation in grad school (Globalization & Development)
25: 대학가요제 @ 인천대학교 송도캠퍼스! "이대나온여자" wins!!!
29: 개발협력 박람회, Vagina Monologues!!!

OCTOBER
5: sent flowers for LHM's bd
6: EYF w. undersecretary for public affairs of the USA (cut short cuz she was late! how lousy is that!)
8: IDHS Inaugural Conference w. Lin
9: went to the stables @ 서울숲 w. Lin, Thai Orchid, food shopping @ Itaewon, movie
13: watched 호우시절
15: "Radio and Juliet" w. 영희 and her friend
16: DGLS - ambassador of Ireland
19-22: exam/paper week.
23: 삼청동 & 종로빈대떡 w. Lin
24: missed "Romeo & Juliet" by Aterballetto @ 고양 아람누리ㅠㅠㅠㅠ so went to 명동 and got my nails painted purple, and bought chocolate
26~29: PLW week
26: went to the new Logaland for the first time w 아영, Tandoori & 달콤한조각 w Lin
27: watched "굿모닝 프레지던트"
28: 강문정 교수님 PLW, DFID official 특강, 대학가요제 뒷풀이 @ OTB!
29: Sylvia Rhee 교수님 PLW, Prof Oh advisee group dinner
30~11/1: KNC

NOVEMBER
3: "Inglorious Basterds"w 도희 & Lin. (Lin fell asleep during the movie.. too many foreign languages and no English subtitles!)
5: "This Is It" w. Lin & 도희
6: "양정웅의 Hamlet" w. Lin
10: 마스트리히트 대학 총장 강연, "Being Gidon Kremer"w 미지언니!
13: DGLS - 한-캐나다 FTA conference (최원목 교수님 presentation)
17: RM presentation
19: EAE presentation (망했ㅠㅠ), Intl student conference on DC
22: stayed in school until 10pm to prepare for presenation w. 희주언니
23: IPE presentation w. Heeju unni
25: Lin's bd dinner @ Nolita & Tea at 티앙팡!
30: dropped by 개발정책과 (이 서기관님's last day)

DECEMBER
2: D&G 2nd presentation
3: Hermione perm~
6: family photo shoot + birthday dinner for grandma
10~13: Macau + Hong Kong (accidentally)
15: got home at 6:30am, slept for almost 20 hours
16~18: writing papers.... @_@
18: Stefan Jackiw Recital!!!
20: sent in the last paper for the first semester at grad school.
21: adjudicated EDiS session. 헤어 트리트먼트. dinner w. lin
22: dinner w. 지현 + 민성
23: dropped in on Mark, dinner w Ahyoung
26: first lesson w Mark, lunch w. 성언니 - painful failure at BFP T^T
28: 2nd lesson w. Mark. went to feed Kekkie.
29: dinner @ F랑. watched "The Imaginarium of Doctor Parn Assus" w. 영희
31: dinner @ 하나후쿠 & watched "Fantastic Mr.Fox" w fam.
watched the ringing of the bell on TV. & KBS 신년음악회 & 뉴스속보.

Starting the new year with bad news from the parliament: 예산안 강행 처리, 의장 직권상정... 몸싸움 예상... ugh, why don't you guys just go home and sleep? 유효표수 안되게 해버리면 되잖아?;;

101st Post

1) There's this guy that rides a red Vespa to work every morning. Usually I'm on the bus, and he's whizzing by. He wears a navy suit. He's not that tall, but looks pretty well built. Where is he going? What does he do? Would he be handsome? This reminds me of a phase I had when I was in middle school -- there was a phase when I would unconsciously follow guys carrying guitars (and be disappointed when I see their faces). There was also a phase when I liked guys with long, straight hair. I wish I had a red Vespa to ride to work. I wish I lived close enough to work to ride a Vespa.

2) Show debate filming last night. On an unfamiliar topic. But I was excited coz I got to debate with and against guys who were high school champions. Everyone was freaking out when we were told that this was going to be posted on the web for an almost global audience. I don't know where my confidence came from. Maybe I just felt more prepared than the others because I spent half of my workday researching and working out arguments. I did a reply speech for the first time in about two years?!? And I liked it. I would like to do more debates even if it's not for winning awards, but I'm not sure how being a good debater can help me (anymore). Am I just being lazy, not trying to make time for 'extracurricular' activities?

3) Mom packed a lunchbox, no, dinnerbox to be exact.. with tomatoes and potatoes. She's so paranoid about me getting fat it's driving me crazy. Hello? I can control my own diet, woman! I don't need you to spoonfeed me (yeah, like she ever did)! And I HATE IT when you try to control my life. I am an ardent supporter of the notion that kids should move out of the house when they become 18 (or go to college). Living with your parents in adulthood crumples your adult ego and leads only to embarassment and anger.

4) I was told to update a booklet that was made nearly three years ago. I hate this new task. I really DON'T want to do it. But my superior started started asking me why I'm not doing what I was told to do (her way of 'kindly reminding' me), so I should really get my hands on it today. I dearly dearly hope that nobody else will tell me to do anything else for the whole day.
Because

5) We went for 고추장주물럭 after the debate, which ended around 10pm. When we were don eating and talking it was 11:50pm. So when I got home, it was already past 1am. Took a shower and started marking the stupid TOEFL practice tests. Went to bed around 3:30. Therefore, very tired and dazed out. Especially considering that I've been going to bed at 11:30 pm for the last four days and I was just developing the habit of naturally waking up at 6:30am... Damn.

dieting camp

Why the hell did I 우겨 to leave on Sunday when the original plan was to get out of this horrible place on Friday?
I should have just stuck to the original plan.

I scoffed at the other girls in my room, who were making lists of '맛집's that they would visit once they got out of here.
But now I'm doing the same thing...ㅠㅠ

I must really, really go to Sookdae-ap.
I missed 정, the Chinese restaurant and Waffle House ever since I went there for the first time in 2006!
And of course DIN TAI FUNG!!! That place is reserved for pay days. hehehe

I wish I could eat anything that had some kind of taste...ㅠㅠ
especially somehting sweet, like a cup of orange/apple juice, or a fresh tomato/apple/baby carrot
or a bowl of salad!!! would be sooooo nice!

My stomach is grumbling all day and I feel like throwing up every now and then.
Yuck.
I am NEVER coming back to a place like this, EVER again.