20221012

So uh... today my [physical] therapist asked me 'personal questions' for the first time

오늘은 기분이 아주 좋은 편이었던 듯 - usually he doesn't make small talk because he knows I prefer to just relax and not talk during my treatment. But today he was really chatty!

Opening with... 마스크 너무 깜찍한거 아니에요? (and no one had commented on my 마스크 today😢 even though my 마스크 usually is a conversation starter..! #greenbliss #동백꽃마스크 Although that was probably because I was buried with work all day and didn't hang out with anyone except my team)

can't even remember why this came up, but 몇년생이세요?

and he was truly genuinely shocked when he heard my answerㅎㅎㅎ

와... 엄청난 동안이시네요 책가방메면 완전 학생인데요 don't you get carded when you go drinking 

이마가 백만불짜리에요 (first time I've ever heard this from a man. how...why..... is he gay or does he just have too many sisters..... Anyway, so you've been looking at my face this whole time huh? 😏)

and I don't remember which topic came up first but 무슨 전공 하셨어요? (and man did I contemplate whether or not to tell him I studied law! yeah I ended up telling him I majored in international studies, basically 'diplomacy' in non-DIS-speak..) yeah why did this come up at all?

It felt good! I just really like feeling like I'm being taken care of, so every time I go for treatment I come back in a good mood, but today it felt good also because it felt like... he is genuinely curious about me, with no ulterior motive. and of course it felt good to know that it was mutual! Now that I think about it, I think he was wondering about all these things all along but for some reason today he had the urge to (or found the courage to? or just because I was responding to him being chatty, which is usually not the case?) ask all these questions.

So yeah, I should try to 'graduate' from physical therapy because my back pain has reduced substantially now and honestly it's costing me so much money (yeah gotta remember to ask about insurance $$$ with the receptionist), BUT....

I don't want to!!!!! Because I don't want to part with my therapist! T^T Just the thought that I won't see my therapist again makes me so sad 😭😭😭😭😭

Could we be friends? Do people become friend with their physical therapists? Is that healthy? Even if we do become friends, what's the use if I stop going to get treatment -- I mean, it's not like we're going to exchange numbers or anything like....that..........

Why haven't I even considered the possibility that he could be gay until now?!? Funny how one reveals so much about oneself while asking questions about the other...

.... and after all this, I realize: I NEED TO HAVE REAL FRIENDS IN REAL LIFE. GOD AM I LONELY. and then I feel like my life is pathetic.

................. Okay maybe it's time to move to a new blog, because I know a handful of people know who is writing this blog (although I doubt they remember) and stuff like this is a bit... embarrassing to disclose, even to that particular handful of people.....

And high hope for tomorrow that I can leave work before 7pm!!!!! and let the weekend begin!!!!!

Ah right and I need to change next week's appointment bc 청첩모임!