와.... 나쁘다...............
I know this is just my jealousy speaking, but I can't deny feeling/thinking:
You spent way more time with me than him that night. Wasn't I just as much a part of that night as he was? Or at least SOME significant part of it?
I wasn't even stealing you from him, he kept leaving you and you weren't particularly with anyone else, leaving yourself defenseless, easy prey. I 'saved' you when he left you standing there alone. TWICE! And you had all the chances in the world to run away from me but you didn't!!!! YOU refused to leave and decided to stay with ME even when he came to tell you that he was leaving. YOUUUU sat there and kept chatting me up for MORE THAN TWO HOURS and then you give me this shit? What the heck?
Look, I'm not expecting much. I know our lives differ way too much for anything good to happen, and that we've already had the best that we ever could have. Yes, I was hanging onto the hope that we might be able to replicate what we had that night. But that was all that I hoped for, nothing more. I'm not THAT stupid. Although I may have come across as such. That night, when I walked out of there the first thought that came to mind was that 'nothing good will come of this.' I knew, just as much as you probably did, that this would not "work out", in any sense of that phrase.
But how could it hurt to just get a cup of coffee? Were you so afraid that you would give me the wrong idea, that I would fall head over heels for you if we did that? Or did you think you're too old for stuff like that? Maybe we are, we probably are, but that's what made it all the more enticing to me, you see...
I need an explanation, an excuse, ANYTHING, so I can call you an ass and just move on. Just make up an excuse, say you have a girlfriend, or that you really are dating your "date", or you're too busy, or how about being honest and saying "I don't see how this is going to work"? You gave me TWO HOURS of honesty and we had just met. (I know that everything you told me that night is true because I friggin online-stalked you to fact-check everything. And I fell for you even harder because I realized you were not a phony.) So what about ending on an honest note too?
Oh what the hell. I should have recognized the look of pity in your eyes when.. when you.. asked me if I wanted to exchange numbers. I should have realized that when you gave me your number it was like you were giving a dollar to a homeless person begging on the street.
(OMG I hate myself for thinking this, but I'm wondering what would have happened if I stayed even afterwards, if I stayed until everything was over and everyone was gone and the sun had come up? Would I have figured out that all you wanted was to hook up? And you thought me weird for not wanting the same thing? SO WHY THE HELL DID YOU STAY WITH ME even after it was clear that all I wanted was to chat?
Was he really making an advance when he told me what the guy with the cane said? Was that my cue and did everything start to go downhill from there, for him? Should I have responded with "So, how long has it been? Do you want some, now?"
Oh what the fuck.)
I have a few words of advice for you: DON'T SAY STUFF THAT YOU DON'T MEAN.
"I'd love to do this in some other context?" ?!???? What kind of BULLSHIT was that?! I should have known you didn't mean a word of that, but I was blinded by the fact that YOU SAT THERE AND GAVE ME ALL YOUR ATTENTION FOR TWO HOURS.
Okay I'll try to focus on the positive:
You were mine, MINE, I HAD YOU ALL TO MYSELF for TWO+ HOURS.
But...
You little piece of shit. That's what I'll remember you as.
And your "date"? He was the real sweetheart. And the most awesomest wingman I had ever come across. I should have fallen for him, not you. Like I said, I would vote him prom king any day. And UNLIKE YOU, he would make ME queen.
I'm trying to decide whether I should just let this little piece of shit go, quietly, or if I should friggin flip and lash out, and embarrass myself, and go out with a bang.
Okay writing that just made me realize what a bad idea that was. (But I still feel like calling you to leave a final message... or is that way too 찌질해? Erk.)
But um... yeah, I had fun(?!???) obssessing over you these past few days.
I should really redirect that energy into studying and making money now.
I know this is just my jealousy speaking, but I can't deny feeling/thinking:
You spent way more time with me than him that night. Wasn't I just as much a part of that night as he was? Or at least SOME significant part of it?
I wasn't even stealing you from him, he kept leaving you and you weren't particularly with anyone else, leaving yourself defenseless, easy prey. I 'saved' you when he left you standing there alone. TWICE! And you had all the chances in the world to run away from me but you didn't!!!! YOU refused to leave and decided to stay with ME even when he came to tell you that he was leaving. YOUUUU sat there and kept chatting me up for MORE THAN TWO HOURS and then you give me this shit? What the heck?
Look, I'm not expecting much. I know our lives differ way too much for anything good to happen, and that we've already had the best that we ever could have. Yes, I was hanging onto the hope that we might be able to replicate what we had that night. But that was all that I hoped for, nothing more. I'm not THAT stupid. Although I may have come across as such. That night, when I walked out of there the first thought that came to mind was that 'nothing good will come of this.' I knew, just as much as you probably did, that this would not "work out", in any sense of that phrase.
But how could it hurt to just get a cup of coffee? Were you so afraid that you would give me the wrong idea, that I would fall head over heels for you if we did that? Or did you think you're too old for stuff like that? Maybe we are, we probably are, but that's what made it all the more enticing to me, you see...
I need an explanation, an excuse, ANYTHING, so I can call you an ass and just move on. Just make up an excuse, say you have a girlfriend, or that you really are dating your "date", or you're too busy, or how about being honest and saying "I don't see how this is going to work"? You gave me TWO HOURS of honesty and we had just met. (I know that everything you told me that night is true because I friggin online-stalked you to fact-check everything. And I fell for you even harder because I realized you were not a phony.) So what about ending on an honest note too?
Oh what the hell. I should have recognized the look of pity in your eyes when.. when you.. asked me if I wanted to exchange numbers. I should have realized that when you gave me your number it was like you were giving a dollar to a homeless person begging on the street.
(OMG I hate myself for thinking this, but I'm wondering what would have happened if I stayed even afterwards, if I stayed until everything was over and everyone was gone and the sun had come up? Would I have figured out that all you wanted was to hook up? And you thought me weird for not wanting the same thing? SO WHY THE HELL DID YOU STAY WITH ME even after it was clear that all I wanted was to chat?
Was he really making an advance when he told me what the guy with the cane said? Was that my cue and did everything start to go downhill from there, for him? Should I have responded with "So, how long has it been? Do you want some, now?"
Oh what the fuck.)
I have a few words of advice for you: DON'T SAY STUFF THAT YOU DON'T MEAN.
"I'd love to do this in some other context?" ?!???? What kind of BULLSHIT was that?! I should have known you didn't mean a word of that, but I was blinded by the fact that YOU SAT THERE AND GAVE ME ALL YOUR ATTENTION FOR TWO HOURS.
Okay I'll try to focus on the positive:
You were mine, MINE, I HAD YOU ALL TO MYSELF for TWO+ HOURS.
But...
You little piece of shit. That's what I'll remember you as.
And your "date"? He was the real sweetheart. And the most awesomest wingman I had ever come across. I should have fallen for him, not you. Like I said, I would vote him prom king any day. And UNLIKE YOU, he would make ME queen.
I'm trying to decide whether I should just let this little piece of shit go, quietly, or if I should friggin flip and lash out, and embarrass myself, and go out with a bang.
Okay writing that just made me realize what a bad idea that was. (But I still feel like calling you to leave a final message... or is that way too 찌질해? Erk.)
But um... yeah, I had fun(?!???) obssessing over you these past few days.
I should really redirect that energy into studying and making money now.
And the story that I'll tell my friends is this:
I had that pretty face (https://instagram.com/p/mL2D2_nDkL/) all to myself that night.
I was his queen. At least for that night...
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