"ddalgijoa, what makes you come late to class?"

Travis sits next to me in Property class.
At the end of Property class, Travis asks me:
"ddalgijoa, what makes you come late to class?"

And I am completely and utterly frozen.
A moment later, I am embarrassed.
A few moments later, I am angry.

Why is that any of your business?
If I knew why, wouldn't I have solved that problem by now?

Why are you asking me that?
Do you think you can do something to 'help' me get over it?
Do I look like I need help (well, obviously..)?

If you are just purely curious, what makes you think I would enjoy entertaining such a question?

Did you for even a moment think it would be rude and offensive to ask me that?

All along the way to Civ Pro class I was stuck walking alongside Travis because the hallways are always crowded during passing time. And I didn't want to be late for Civ Pro class and let Travis see that.
And all I could think was "꺼져, 꺼져, 꺼지라고...."

What a reputation I must have in this stinking small community.
Who would ever want to write a letter of recommendation for me? (Other than people from church???)

I feel so completely stuck, small, and overwhelmed.

Why do I keep challenging myself to live up to higher standards when I know I can choose to live an easier life?

On the other hand, even in that easier life I always sucked. It just didn't show as much.