Jealous and Impatient

That's how I am these days.
No, I don't think I am really okay.
I can't go to sleep and I feel so effing lonely but at the same time I just want to be left alone. Cuz I can't talk about the things that bother me (well, not like this, anyway) with anyone. And this is so effing frustrating.
I can't get anything done -- it's like when I applied to college and was waiting for the results. And it feels similar to when I heard MS got accepted to Yonsei but I didn't. (Although I wasn't as upset about that, since I really wanted to get into Ewha DIS.)

Law school results are slooooooooooowly coming in and every email except one has been depressing so far.
I really wanted and hoped I could get into Georgetown. And U Penn (okay I knew I wouldn't get into that school, but one can wish!).
AND HOW THE EFFING HELL DID THAT BLONDE GET INTO Georgetown????????
I knew I should have cancelled that low score. What was I thinking? Gawd I can't believe how stupid I was. And I should have just applied early instead of wasting time on a third LSAT. WTF.

If anyone out there is considering applying to Georgetown Law, I URGE you to APPLY EARLY AS POSSIBLE!
I don't think I will ever get over the fact that she got in and I didn't.

WHY DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO ME?
AM I NOT TRYING HARD ENOUGH?
Should I really have another go at this, just to learn what it means to 'try hard' and to 'give something my best'?
Or is it time to admit that I'm not as smart as I believe myself to be?

I knew Cornell is the best I can hope for, but now I think even Cornell would be a miracle.
Maybe Vanderbilt? Or maybe even Vandy is wishful thinking..
Realistically speaking, UIUC is going to be as good as it gets. (I mean, I got waitlisted at GWU.. so anything within T20 would be a total miracle.)
Maybe I should just start applying for scholarships at UI......?

I should really stop hoping for miracles and make a decision whether I'll go to UI or take the LSAT again.

Thank you, everyone who keep telling me to wait and see what happens, but I kind of know it's not going to get any better than this, that the status quo will hold until all the results are out.

So I should really calm down and stop being jealous and impatient (for what? false hope?) and MOVE THE FU*K ON with life as it is.
I need to concentrate more on school. I should also think about whether I will write a thesis if I decide not to go to UIUC.