falling asleep

oh God, I'm falling asleep at work........

I can never get enough sleep during weekends -- I go to bed a bit later than on weekdays, and get up later, but that just doesn't seem to compensate.. All I ever want to do during weekends is sleep, but then mom throws a fit if I get up any later than 10am, and then there are things to be done (yeah like that job at H which is driving me slightly nuts coz their server seems to break down every time I log in) and friends to meet. Going to church is another burdent that I would rather not think about, unless I have nothing better to do.

okay, writing that just woke me up a little bit.

I was going to post a link to an article so I could revisit it later, but of course I forgot it because I was dozing off.

/The school across the street called me about an hour ago, to confirm that I wasn't going to register. The lady kept asking me are you going to SNU? or Korea U? I kept saying no. The lady finally asked "are you going abroad, then?" and I had to say no to that, too.

I think I'm doing somethng that nobody will understand. (Yet AGAIN!)

I'd better be fully armed to give myself an explanation/ justification in case I have doubts... which I already do, .... I just hope this choice will lead me to better choices in the future, and not away from them.

I will be so shattered if the school I chose doesn't give me a scholarship bigger than the one that Y offered.

But I also know that I sucked in the interview and E only gives scholarships to two people in the whole class (as opposed Y: to three people for each major) so the chances of that happening will be very, very low. It's probably more accurate to say that I KNOW I WON'T BE GETTING A SCHOLARSHIP FROM E.

(So why the HELL am I choosing E?!?!?! Everyone is asking me.)

Phew......................................................................... All I can hope for is the magic call telling me "you won yourself a full scholarship!" But I know that's not going to happen. And that I shouldn't be looking forward to it. But I just can't give up that last bit of hope.......