20211001

Wow. It's October (already!) and the weather is changing. 

So, a few updates, in reverse chronological order:

1. Just called my manager at G - she says I can put my membership on hold! I was so worried that I would have to just give up my remaining membership or pay more money for an extension, but my manager said "You can put it on hold of course! " like it's the easiest thing in the world. So PHEW! That was a MAJOR thing that made my heart heavy going into this journey and I'm so glad I decided to call G today and not put it off (again)!

1-1. Now that I spend a LOT of time thinking about myself (okay that sounds selfish/weird), I feel that, if I can get past this chapter of my life successfully, I might actually want to meet someone. Like, I'm getting a strong-ish feeling (or more like a current or force that I can't or won't really fight) that that is the next thing on my to-do list. So... I really shouldn't expect or even hope for a miracle like HC to happen again (

2.  I passed the MPRE and the NYLE!!!!! (Now I just have to pass the actual, biggest exam.......) Just got my NYLE results this morning and although I knew I would have passed, it was such a big relief to see the words PASS on the results screen! GOD I hope more than anything to see the same thing on my UBE results report!!!!! But every time I get a PASS report card I use it as an excuse to take that day easy (and NOT study)... I wanted to celebrate with 떡볶이 today but had already bought sandwiches... maybe tomorrow?

3. I've got a massive (?) haircut. I haven't cut my hair this short in 10 years! I really like how much less hair I have to wash in the shower every day, but... the style I wanted was to make me look serious and focused, but the style my hairdresser gave me was........ CUTE. I look like Hailey Mills (was that her name?) in The Parent Trap (the original, old movie!). Don't get me wrong, it really is pretty, it's just not was I was going for..... Maybe when I go for a trim I will ask the hairdresser to cut off more from the sides and back. Or I might just keep it as it is, dunno. Don't care so much anyway, as long as it's just short and easy to manage, because I'm not going to meet any humans for the next five months anyway...

4. Miscellaneous

Other than that, I've put on a bit of weight (I was so confident that I would lose weight, back in July when I was running every morning), and feeling really lonely at times. And watching waaaaaaaaay too much Youtube. But it has led to some great discoveries like 구교환, epilepsy - focal seizures, Jessica Kellgran-Fozart (not sure I got that right), 양브로의 정신세계, 위라클, etc. 

I looked at emails from 7~8 years ago and realized so, so, many people tried to help me. But I was soooooo underprepared/underqualified to make use of all their help. I really don't know what I could have done at that point because I feel like I should have dropped out of took leave from law school after my first semester.