20171118

The reason why I'm upset is,
I showed you the world and you..... Just fucking sat there and enjoyed being liked. Why did I fucking grace you with amusement and my company when you didn't fucking deserve it? Why did I treat you like I used to treat my most precious friends when I barely even knew you? Even after I understood that you were in a bad place? And why do I think you deserve a farewell when I nowknow that nothing that I do or say can resuscitate you?
I'm mad at myself for getting my hopes up for a hopeless fool like you (at least with all the shit you're currently in),
for realizing too late that you were and still are in pretty deep shit,
for wasting my precious time and emotions on what was already a lost cause,
for not having a life interesting enough to know better than to waste time with a schmuck like you.

I do hope I learn from this.. Learn to have fun on my own, to 'not have the time to sit around and be bored'.
To learn to respect myself and the fact that every day I am continuously given life, to learn how to live in honor of the fact that I AM ALIVE, that I am young and in good health and have a roof over my head and a job,
Ultimately, to learn how to make the best use of my time.