1. 이놈의 지긋지긋한 아르바이트로부터 자유로웠으면 좋겠다. But then again it's what's been keeping me alive for the past year and a half. (Since July 24th, 2008...wow.) I guess I should hand some work over to Y for the time being.
2. 뜨거웠으면 좋겠다, 내가. Not lukewarm. 그리고 세상에 대한 분노와 의심, 냉소, 이런 negative feelings 가 열정과 애정의 positive energy로 replace됐으면 좋겠다. So how can I do this?
3. Along the same train of thought,.. I wish I could find a source of fun and joy not from something I pay with money for, but from within myself. Fun that is not superficial and fading. Something more like 'passion' rather than mere enjoyment.
M said nothing beats falling in love, in that respect. That may be true, but even M agreed that even that fades away with time.
Starting new things, becoming involved in new activities, meeting new people... these are all great ways to excite oneself, but it is not this level of excitement that I am talking about.
Something compelling, coming from within myself, a motivation to get out there and do stuff. Something that will actually make me want to get up in the morning.
Where can I get something like that? And how?
Maybe there really is no answer but to have a closer, better, deeper relationship with God.
Okay, even then, even if we say that is THE answer, where do I start?
I feel like I am jumping into the ocean to find a grain of golden sand...
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