stay

Until now

I was the girl who stayed and waited.

I was the girl who stayed in one place.

But now

I will be the one going to places

I will be the one leaving

But

I don't want to keep anyone waiting

but the funny thing is, you keep hoping

that someone will be there when you go back

I know it's selfish

but I can't help

wishing that there's someone that misses me as I miss him/her

I don't want to be the wife/gf of a soldier anymore

I want to be THE SOLDIER, THE SAILOR

I want to leave this place and see new things and meet new people

but I'm a little bit afraid -- will I be able to do that without my old friends by my side, supporting me?

Maybe this is what they call the quarterlife crisis.

You want to make changes in your life but in order to do that you have to face your own cowardice. And it's not so easy.

* If I wrote down my stream of consciousness (during work hours) every day these days, I think I would be writing a book every day. And by the end of my internship I would have a whole series of books.