不用

不用 不用 不用

what's the use?

I feel like I'm starting all over again

what have I done in the past 7 months?

Putting off a decision,

putting off effort,

crouching back into my corner and pretending, and telling everyone that I'm fine

tricking myself to believe that I'm fine,

saving energy, (and thus getting FAT at the speed of light)

FOR NOTHING, that's what I've been doing.

for seven effing months.

/

You used to call me at nights. I used to call you at nights. But it wasn't because I had a crush on you or vice versa.

We were just two very bored and very lonely individuals with nobody else to turn to in this world.

Now that you're gone,

I'm back to the life before I met you

brooding on the past and refusing to interact with people

refusing to belong, yet longing to belong

like some half-man-half-beast

torn between my inner contradictions

refusing to listen to anyone else but my own stupid ego

and then punishing myself for doing precisely that

And then you know what, tomorrow morning I'll wake up and persuade myself that nothing happened,

that I'm fine, you were just a dream, or maybe a hallucination

and then I'll go back

spiraling in deeper and deeper into my own abyss of ARROGANCE.......