feel like crap today

i feel like crap

몸컨디션도 갑자기 안좋고

모의고사성적도 개떡같고

(시험치는내내 집중도 너무 안됐어)

스트레스받아서 계속 초콜렛만 먹고

계속 늦게자고

운동은 안하고

월요일에 발표있는데 아직 준비 하나도 안했고

나라도 뒤숭숭하고 (what the heck is going on in the sea?!?!)

날씨는 엄청 좋은데 아직 추워서

사놓은 봄옷들 옷장속에서 썩고있는거 완전 속상하고

싸이 들어오면 항상

소개팅 클럽이나 웨딩 준비 클럽 가입하라고 쪽지 와있고

아 진짜 오늘 기분 완전 구려 ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ

and also because ... i feel like i don't know you anymore.

Because I feel like I don't know how to have a good time together with you.

Because the you I thought I knew and the me you thought you knew don't match any more.

Because I let you feel bad, worrying that I might not be having a good time.

Which in turn made me feel obliged to stop pretending like I share your way of having fun.

(I've always wanted to learn to play the guitar/bass, but somehow it never made it to my list of priorities.. 학교코앞에 실용음악학원 있는걸 발견하고서는 I got so worked up and 진짜 마지막으로 decided I would definitely get vocal training when I am done with law school applications. 기타+베이스+드럼도 진짜진짜 배우고 싶은데, 한꺼번에 다는 못할꺼고ㅠㅠ 아 미디작곡도 완전 땡겨ㅠㅠㅠㅠ)

솔직히 I know the cause of all this is jealousy. Your life evolves around your girlfriend whereas I don't even have a story about so much as a crush to tell you about... Isn't life so unfair.

But because I wasn't consumed in relationships I got to study more. Meet more people. See the bigger world that is 'out there'.

그리고 나는 너보다 더 폼나게 살거니까.

쳇쳇쳇