Long time no talk,

I thought you were dead.

Apparently you're not.

Apparently you've been hiding from the world, FOR A YEAR.

Apparently you're not the person I thought I knew.

Obviously you surprise me with every step you take.

The more I get to know you the more I realize how little I understand you.

I know I should be satisfied just to know that you're alive and well, and that you actually took the trouble to answer my text messages (황송하옵나이다),

But then of course it follows that now I want to tell you how much I missed you and that I want to see you again.

I didn't.

But now I'm afraid that there's going to be another year of no text msgs/emails/ phone calls (duh this never worked anyway, you being such a technophobic caveman). Nada.

And maybe that year will become two years, then three, then four, and then....

I don't want to let you go like this (that's what I've been thinking for the past five years),

but how the hell am I supposed to ask/lure YOUR MAJESTY to actually WANT to see me?

Come to think of it,

when we did meet, it was never any good. It was always so uncomfortable.

The first time you made me pay for your dinner. (serves me right for taking you to a posh cafe when you wanted to take a walk around an old palace? why don't you go to 파고다공원 and hang out and have free lunch with the pensioners who live there?!)

The second time you made me walk for more than an hour to find the restaurant you wanted to have dinner at. (although it was a very nice and BIG dinner and the floor was so warm that we almost fell asleep)

So I've given up on experiencing any rosy feelings when I'm with you

(in other words, I've completely given up on seeing you as a potential date)

but

I still feel indebted to you, for some reason?

Like there's some 'unfinished business' that needs to be taken care of?

Like I need to tell you what I've been meaning to tell you for so long no matter how you would feel about it?

But when? How?

How will I get you to sit in front of me and listen to me?